Your phone buzzes. It's your mum or dad, and they sound worried. "I got a text saying I owe money to HMRC — should I pay it?" or "There's an email saying my bank account's been locked." You've had this call before, or one like it, and you probably will again.
Scam texts and emails aimed at older people aren't rare — they're a daily reality. In England and Wales, someone over 50 is scammed roughly every minute. UK Finance recorded £629 million in fraud losses in the first half of 2025 alone. This isn't about anyone being careless. Scam messages are designed by professionals to create urgency and fear, and they're getting harder to spot.
This guide walks through how to check a suspicious message with a parent, calmly and without making them feel foolish for asking.
The first rule: don't click, don't reply, don't pay
Before anything else, the message itself should stay untouched. No links clicked, no replies sent, no calls made to numbers in the text, and absolutely no payments made — even "small" ones to "verify" an account. Scammers often ask for a tiny amount first to test that a payment method works before going for a bigger sum.
If your parent has already clicked a link or entered details, that changes the next steps (more on that below) — but it's not the end of the world, and reacting calmly matters more than reacting fast.
Signs a text or email is a scam
A few signals show up again and again in scam messages:
Urgency and fear. "Your account will be suspended," "Pay now to avoid a fine," "Suspicious activity detected" — these phrases are designed to short-circuit careful thinking.
Requests to click a link or call a number. Genuine organisations like HMRC, the NHS, or your parent's bank will almost never ask you to click a link in a text to "verify" something. HMRC has confirmed it never contacts people by text about unpaid tax.
Odd sender details. A text claiming to be from the bank but sent from an unfamiliar mobile number, or an email address that's almost right but not quite (e.g. "support@natwest-secure.com" rather than the bank's real domain).
Spelling and formatting that feels slightly off. Not always — some scams are polished — but inconsistent fonts, odd spacing, or unusual phrasing are common.
Pressure to act alone, quickly, and quietly. Scammers sometimes explicitly tell people not to tell family or the bank "to avoid delays." That instruction alone is one of the strongest warning signs there is.
How to check a message together
- Read it together, out loud if it helps. Hearing the message read aloud often makes the urgency and pressure tactics more obvious.
- Check who it claims to be from — independently. Don't use any phone number or link in the message itself. Look up the organisation's official number separately (on a bill, a bank card, or their real website) and call that instead, if a call feels necessary.
- Search the first line of the message. Scam texts are often sent to thousands of people, so a quick search of the exact wording sometimes turns up other people reporting the same scam.
- When in doubt, wait. Genuine organisations don't usually need an instant response. A short pause to check rarely causes a real problem — but it can prevent a costly one.
If they've already clicked a link or shared details
This happens to careful, sensible people all the time, and the most useful thing you can do is respond without panic or blame.
- If money was sent or a card was used: contact the bank immediately using the number on the back of the card, and ask about freezing the account or reversing the payment.
- If personal details were shared: consider whether passwords need changing, particularly if the same password is reused across accounts.
- Report it. In the UK, suspicious texts can be forwarded free to 7726, and Action Fraud (actionfraud.police.uk) is the place to report scams and get further guidance.
- Don't dwell on blame. Scammers are convincing on purpose. The goal now is simply sorting it out.
Why this keeps happening — and why it's not really about "being careful enough"
It's tempting to think a parent just needs to "be more careful," but that misses how these scams actually work. According to Ofcom, 87% of UK adults have been exposed to suspected scam content, and Age UK research suggests millions of over-50s now fear answering the phone at all — which is its own quiet cost, even when no scam occurs.
The real problem isn't carelessness. It's that checking a message safely takes a moment of calm, informed judgement — and that's exactly the moment scammers are trying to remove.
A second opinion, without needing you on the phone every time
This is the gap WorryLess was built for. Ivy by WorryLess is a voice-first assistant your parent can simply talk to — no app to learn, no typing required — when a message feels off. They describe what they've received, in their own words, and Ivy helps them work out whether it's safe, explains why in plain English, and walks them through what to do next.
If this sounds like something your parent could use, Ivy by WorryLess is now in early access. Find out more.